The First Question
Today, when you meet another adult for the first time, our society has defaulted to always ask one question – “What do you do?” And the practice of the first question is not really something limited to working adults. And there is quite a variety among different parings such as
Adults to children: “How old are you?”
Adults to dog owners: “What breed is he?”
And so on. What these questions have in common is that it allows the asker to put the askee in certain boxes that makes it easier for said asker to figure them out and know how to position themselves in some kind of unconscious social hierarchy in their own minds.
But honestly, this sucks. We have evolved to be defined by our jobs. How horrible is that? Now don’t get me wrong – the modern human being spends most of his waking hours at the workplace but that doesn’t mean he is what he does, right?
So I ask the following: Why can’t we change the first question? What would be the first question that automatically digs into the core of a person right away?
I propose the following questions as possible alternatives to the what do you do question.
“Who is your favorite superhero?” – It may end up being Batman for 80% of the time but that’s a start!
“Have you ever had a pet? What was his/her name?”
“What’s your first favorite book?”
“If you won a million dollars today, what would you spend it on? Would a golden toilet really be unreasonable?”
“What did you want to be when you grow up when you were a kid?” Similar to the what do you do question but awesome-r.
“If you could eat one thing for every meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?”
“We’re in a dinner party now but which fictitious person did you wish was here too?”
“Are you happy?”
“You have one free day next week to do anything you want with no consequences – what would you do?”
“Do you think Mr. Snuffleuppagus is real?”
I could go on and on but then I’d be tipping my hand at what makes me an excellent dinner guest.
Now I’m super excited to meet someone new and ask them my new first question!
(photo from Shutterstock)